no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
