Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
This is my gift to your gina
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
