it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
