He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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