I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
