eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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