similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize