My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
