Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
