Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
