I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
