i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
