I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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