I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Randomize
