I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
