Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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