that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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