All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
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One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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