Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
