Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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