I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
