I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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