are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
