Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
