Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Life without a bra equals bliss.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
