I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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