So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize