i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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