Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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