i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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