If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
is wine microwaveable?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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