Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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