When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
