no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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