I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
