He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
