3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
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4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
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I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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