found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
