I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
