I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize