Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
