Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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