So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
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Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
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its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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