I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
