Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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