I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
