are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
