You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
