Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
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She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
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We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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