The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize