I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
