True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
