i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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