i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
