I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
