Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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