so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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