You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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