So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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