I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
