OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
