he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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